The Reason

I'm a woman on a merry-go-round. I don't remember standing in line.  I don't remember paying.  Have I ridden this ride before?  Wait, why does this feel the same as yesterday?  Uh.... I feel sick.  Why am I on this fucking ride?  I need to get off....

Exactly how I felt today.  And yesterday.  Not the three days prior, because I work 13 hours shifts and leave my bar after Illinois and Missouri bar times are called and I can only do the Sauget district once a quarter.  However, I probably would have gone out was I not at work.  Thank god for work, I make money.  No drinky.

Anyway, I am going to try to not drink, not eat fast food, and not eat fried food for two weeks.  The last two generally come with drinking, so that should be easy.  Part of this is my need for waking up and not feeling depressed, exhausted, broke, and like a 90-year-old woman.  The other part is a bit of weight loss.  Go away twelve pounds.  Go away. 

I have tried the "One month challenge" two different times.  Each time however, I ended up drinking after only three days.  But hell, an event came up!!  Tuesday.  What was I supposed to do?  No really, that's what my association presented to me: "Dee, you do not need this."

Hey everyone: I'm aware.  I am not letting a few cocktails get in the way of my life.  But sometimes it is just nice to have a cleansing breathe dammit.   I once dated a nutritionist and  I had a perfect balance of weekly cocktails with some friends and a bottle of wine at home with a good meal once a week and then other nights home and stone sober.  I honestly miss those days.  And my bank misses the money I saved...

So this time it's the "Two week challenge" and I'm throwing it out there to ensure follow-through.  I'm not going to be unreasonable; I'm a bartender--I may need to "taste" something new that came in.  But the plan is: no beverage of my own, which would ultimately lead to three more and toasted ravs with extra ranch.   And yes, after this little experiment I will drink.  As my friends have said (this time), "It's just an incentive to feel better.  You are fine.  But nothing is wrong with being better than fine."

So there you have it.  Wanna join me?  It's harder than you think.  Email HalfWayToAA@gmail.com with your story and a title and I'll post it.